QUESTIONS?

First of all I have a confession of visiting numerous ladies washrooms thanks to selfies, its alarming on how I can detect which fancy restaurant/ hotel washroom is legit from the other slay queen and maybe have an idea on the décor of what to not put in my bathroom in future …now that i have your attention…
Life, like business runs on questions, not answers. And the most scary question according to me and gets me jittery is  “What different thing are you bringing to the table? “That may just make me signal the movers to take it back even if was bringing the damn table. It generates a vacuum in my head.
A steakhouse of beef towards that question may be the closest description on how I dislike that question, how daft does one craft such a question? About tables? I bet the hospitality industry feel like an abuse of their vocab being up-hazardly misused as much as it is a figure of speech. It is not the best thought, it’s a question and of course it needs an answer. Logically speaking it is assumed that there is no questions without answers and no comment is usually considered “invalid, null and void”- drops a peculiar Kenyan statement abuse right there.
Recently I was in a certain section of Nairobi and well as I was having a stroll since that is my new found therapy, no ear phones just me, my shoes and the dust is when I was made to discover that the shape of my head is a work of art, it is said to have never changed it is distinct and clearly no one who knows me can miss it. So I hear honking and I fight the urge to look back I am not driving so I stick to my stand not to flinch I continue with my walk enjoying the concrete scenery with no out of this world architecture… I am in a place where greenery is a myth and different shades of dust are in abundance. The honking goes on twice more and I now suspect the vehicle has a faulty horn. Then a second later the said vehicle dashes cuts me across on the dusty side walk I make a halt as the vehicle does so too. It’s a Toyota hiace shuttle, its empty I quickly notice I have nothing to be afraid of, never have I ever thought of myself as a person who attracts harm that is why the valley of the shadow has never been a fear path for me so I proceed, all kinds of thoughts streaming in.

I think maybe this is the day a call for ransom to my friends & family is made… *quick deviation* I always envision every bad thing happening to me like a bad  game show and to date I don’t know why it has always matched up the OMO pick a box colors blue red and white..(.striking perhaps?) Whereby a host puts me on the spot at the stand with a buzzer button on my left hand, with my problem and where but my life lines are engineered to always disappoint me with wrong answers in turn never solving the unpleasant situation.
So as I get back the footing on the dusty side walk and about to pass by the rude driver who thinks I haven’t bit enough dust by now having already covered a few hundred meters. He calls me by my name and since I have been called by different names all my life and I usually know how to distinguish where I met the person.
This was not going to be easy because I this was a very unfamiliar face.
He tells me to hop in the van, he is huge and in this case I tell myself that this guy can effortlessly over power me if this is a kidnapping but can never out run me. So I decline partly because I was enjoying my dusty foot soldier walk and also I don’t get into strangers cars especially if they are not unexceptionally  really good looking like they are from international magazine pictures, touched up and all. No offense, but don’t you think you might trust a really good looking male or female depending on the context as compare to an average Joe?

And let’s remember nobody want to be told they look average even if they are.
So he tell me his name and that we went to primary school together but he transferred at the junior classes. I have never questioned my memory but as I try mentally to erase the bass from his voice shave his beard, form a baby face visual of him I still can’t come up with something worth an iPhone X facial recognition mechanisms capability.
I give in and hop in the vehicle, and put on a brave face masked with a smile. And so our small talk of questions begin.
Translated: for purpose of language barrier and readers who don’t get sheng.
“You haven’t changed man! It’s like a blown up version of yourself only darker and taller” he says
“How is Mr. Kanye?” I am now shocked
Who is this guy? And I humbly reply in my head “I don’t know, probably Kim K has the answer”
So I reply ” I don’t get the question”
The teacher who used to be terror by sight and loved his tobacco.
Oh Mr. Kanyi?! I can’t remember the last time I saw him. You transferred early right? Lucky you, you never had to be in his math class.
He stares at me in shock driving at 20kph.

“He taught you math?

I failed at math I bet I would have suffered, his caning looked painful.” He answered his question.
I survived I am a living proof.
So do you stay around? He asks I as I mentally roll my eyes (what’s with Kenyans)
No just visiting… yourself?
I come from around just from the garage. I want to drop this car to the driver and head home help my daughter with her homework.
“All in a day’s work right?” I remark.
Yeah pretty much, she gives me joy with the crazy days and phone calls from the other driver is just stress but that is just business.
Atleast you are the responsible one and don’t have to give the boss bad news…(The problem of being used to bosses)
Unfortunately the boss receives it one way or the other not from me though. He stresses
Machel by the way, Samora Machel standard 3P3 Mrs. Muigai’s class…
Me grins, I had finally met someone who has a good memory.
I am very impressed it is unbelievable.
He names a couple of people he was either friends with or who were popular and “losers”.
This was the scariest experience I ever had this year.
What brings you around? Work? Visit? Scanning around for land?
None of the above… just lost myself trying to find myself -I chuckle
He still has a serious face, “well, good luck with that”
Kesho, another day right?
No, I am very religious the car doesn’t work on Sunday, I am contented with a good 6days a week…he answers
You must have a good boss then.
Yeah you are looking at him -he modestly answers my ignorant self
How slow could I have been not to notice his lack of pressure while making small talk instead of rushing to make a living. To recover lost time at the garage.
He tells me about how he always wanted to be a matatu driver but had to answer pilot in class just because everyone was ambitious than him.
I am quick to congratulate him since he is living his dream unlike us astronauts who only know NASA as a political bloc. I am even afraid of telling him what I do for a living.
He has a wonderful wife a daughter and a matatu. He has a picture in his wallet.
So where did you transfer to after class 3? I am now attentive
I went school in Muhoroni after my father got a job at a sugar company, lived there most of my life. Until when I realized I needed to work towards my goal because academics was not my thing and as you can see by my physical stature, no sport favoured me.

How come you have never gained weight? He asks

There are times you watch your weight and at times your weight watches you. Life’s ups and downs I wish you met me a few years back- I answer

I remember that statement I wrote it down in my phone on my phone I knew it would come in handy. There are plenty more questions would you mind getting the answers later? I know I would.